Sexual health

On this website "sex" includes the penis into the vagina, the penis into the anus, the use of sex toys such as dildos, and of course oral sex. This relates to male-female, male-male and female-female relationships.

"Sexual health" means minimising the risk related to sexual practices. This mainly refers to participating in safer sex practices. "Safer sex practices" means having sex in a way that reduces a person's chance of getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI). This includes choosing not to have intercourse (penetrative sex), choosing other ways to have sex that don't involve intercourse, and having intercourse using protection (e.g. condoms).

Safer sex

I bet you have heard the term "safer sex". But what exactly does it mean?

Unfortunately a lot of people still think:

• I won't get an STI because I only have sex with my partner.
• That won't happen to me because I get my sexual partners to withdraw their penis before they ejaculate (cum).

The problem with these thoughts are that so many people are likely to have more than one sexual partner in their lifetime—even if you don't, what about your partner's history? Our early relationships often don't last forever. Also, STIs can be spread through vaginal secretions and pre-ejaculate (pre-cum). So, even if you are in a relationship with a person where you are not seeing other people you still need to think about having safer sex. You can get an STI from someone you care about!

There's more to sex than just sexual intercourse. Safer sex can include:

• Cuddling, stroking, kissing, massage, rubbing.
• Masturbation (i.e. touching your own genitals). See masturbation for girls and mastubation for guys.
• Mutual masturbation (i.e. touching each others genitals).
• Oral sex (i.e. mouth on the other person's penis or vulva), with a dam/Lollye to cover the vagina, or a condom to cover the penis.
• Anal sex with a condom and water based lube (e.g. Wet Stuff or KY jelly).
• Vaginal sex with a condom and water based lube (e.g. Wet Stuff or KY jelly).

Taking charge of your sexuality

To state the obvious, different people want different things out of relationships, and it's not always just sex. It's important to think about what you want and expect from a partner. Knowing what you want from a relationship isn't easy at first. It takes time (sometimes years!) to figure it out. For some, closeness, love and romance are important things. For others, it's an opportunity to have sex. Others want both, or neither. Wherever you're at, you're going to learn a little bit more (hopefully) about what you want and what you don't want as time goes by.

The important thing is that when it comes to sex and relationships it is ok to take your time or to just say no.

Talking to your partner about STIs and screening

Neither you nor your partner want to get an STI, right? Sometimes you just can't tell if someone has an STI. It is important before getting into any sexual relationship to discuss with your partner your thoughts on safe sex and the use of condoms. Remember, stick to your guns and if your partner refuses to use condoms then maybe the thought of no sex without a condom may just sway the decision your way.